What's your greatest fear?

She walked through the darkness,

The mushy soil,the syrupy atmosphere,

Pitch dark and perfectly silent..nonetheless,

she wore a smile and ambled on,with no fear.

She wasn't bothered by the journey,

After all,she had spent most of her life in the wilderness.

It was the door at the end she hated to see,

What lay behind it,tormented her mentally.

Whenever she reaches to open the door,

she turns back and runs as fast as her 7-year old feet can take her.

She had enough,she couldn't take anymore.

Every night she would walk till there,

Never opens the door,not even dare.

......frantically twisting in bed,

she woke up and screamed to herself"What is it that I really dread??!!"

Peering through dark glasses again....

This is more of a blog to myself.There are few things I've realized in the past week.

--The world revolves around money..It's so hard to decently earn money.

--There's none in this world and none who will..love you as much as your parents.Pure selfless love.Incomparable.Abosolutely.They ll do anything in the world for you.

--Guilt can drive you mad.can make you cry endlessly,you feel enclosed and suffocated,gasping for breath.It haunts you, every single hour.

--You might think you're a strong person.To get there..you need to break down.And believe you'll shatter into tiny pieces..fumbling to fix the pieces back.

--Sometimes people do things you hate.Friends betray you,lovers ditch you,your parents yell at you...but it's all good,everything has a reason.Just wear their shoes for once.Everyone in this world teaches you a lesson.

--Loneliness is an incurable disease.Pray to god,that you have someone to take care of you when you get old.

--Never underestimate anyone! Never...he'll just overtake you in the long run,and you'll keep mum.

--Life's never easy.. not a person has had it easy,even the richest people.When its your turn to slog,don't complain,you'll go nowhere.

--Close your eyes for just a meagre 2 minutes everyday and thank god.You're blessed in so many unobtrusive ways.

Change

Life's changed track,I'm walking a new lane,

It's one of those things you tell yourself won't happen for now,

and before you know it,it has happened and how?

Getting adjusted to it is hard,

convincing myself over and over again,I feel like a retard.

The transition time should pass,

My ambivalent state if mind will clear,

Till then,I'll be stoic,with nothing to cheer:(

Unfortunately time heals,

It cleans out the closet and reveals.

In person..

The 69-yr old's confident  stride past the many gathered in that now-seemingly confined space,commanded respect.My eyes followed that figure in awe,almost forgetting to applaud along with the crowd.The first experiment I've had with this author,'A Twist in the tale' was pleasant enough,to keep continuing...haven't stopped till today(though most of my peers have stopped reading his books,calling it repetitive,i certainly beg to differ!!)

       "Now that you have a new government,I appoint myself the transport minister.This is the first country where cars think the white line is supposed to pass through the middle",was his opening statement.The crowd laughed,mostly in agreement.I haven't payed attention to any one's talk( not even the best Professor) as much as i did for the next 60 minutes.Jeff(he doesn't like being called that,AT ALL!!!! :)) spoke about everything under the sun;his first time with the publishers';his intransigent stand on how "20-20 is non-sense";India;Indian writers...everything:)

            When he said,'My writing ability is God's gift',I couldn't agree with him more.What completely baffled me ,was that he's never had a 'Writer's block!'..NEVER(!!!!).WOW!!,I thought to myself!,certainly the biggest gift anyone could ask for.The excitement metamorphosed into anticipation to get an autographed copy of his latest novel"Paths of Glory'.A true celebrity(..to say!),he promised not to leave without signing each one of the books <>.After about 60minutes of crawling in that line,I came face-to-face with the man himself.The biggest grin drawn upon my face (WOW!!!).A small,insignificant 'thank you' of mine,got a booming reply ,'NO,THANK YOU:)'..and a smile drawn upon his face.That was the most amazing feeling.I was that excited little kid again,wanting to run back home to show the autographed book:).

          You can place Jeffrey Archer in that Pantheon of great storytellers,no doubt.I just hope,somewhere down the line,I can write stories half as entertaining as his:)

Complexities...

 Sometimes,I feel,humans' complex assortment of intense,deep emotions is a burden.Animals' lesser intellectual capacity,is a blessing in disguise.When angry,there is a sudden gush of powerful hormones in our brain.We have the urge to yell,scream till our lungs tear,get very violent,almost till the capacity to kill,the need to stop,the irritation,confusion.A clash of so many emotions.In great comparison,animals have a single reaction,even if its violence.

     When happy,we smile,dance,celebrate,rejoice for most often a sadistic pleasure(which certainly isn't affirmative).While dealing with the loss of a dear one,we feel pain,sadness,loneliness,guilt,remorse,dejection,anger and the the need to compose one's self and remain stoic.

This conflict of many feelings..almost seems to me like a burden.

           Animals and children are blessed,blessed with untangled emotions,uncluttered minds.We should learn from them,they are mono manics,obsessed with living life free and to the fullest....

Satellite communicaton ;)

.written in satellite communication class..6th semsubject!TCE...all about satellites and orbits:(...

42,164 miles away,

Driven into lonely space,

not keeping time of whether its the end of a solar day,

I'm here stuck in some mental orbit with an obtuse phase.

I wonder which eccentricity is being talked about,

The people in the orbit, i suppose.

There is an earth link,no doubt

But how long should i stay here??

I'm not sure about the other losses or path loss,

All that i know is that ,there is a complete memory pause.

Waiting for this hour to get over,

Desperately want my orbit to lower.

Finally its time to decelerate,

But my daily trips to this orbit will continue much to my dismay and hate.!!

Basketball

Dribble..dribble...dribble.The sound of the basketball on court is music to my ears.After almost three years of desuetude,my basketball skills were put to use last year.Played for the college team.Due to, maybe constant cavilling by my captain,unpunctual practice sessions,uncoordinated playing.I decided to leave.

              Today i watched a basketball match, and something within me craved for it..really bad!!The greatest remorse drew over me.I shouldn't have left.The alacrity with which they move,the pivoting,the shooting,the driving-in.I miss it all.I can't blow my own trumpet,I'm not all that good,but i guess i really miss it.The joy of having played a really good game,sweating till I'm drenched,coming back home to a lazy ,hot shower,Mollifying the little fatigue due to a tiresome match.Miss it all!!!.

        I realized its time ,I think i should swallow my pride and get back on the team.Miss it too much:( 

...Unsaid

....tryin my hand at poetry. 

Sparkling in royal blue,

she sat in her bedroom,waiting for him.

Peeking through the door knob,she couldn't wait longer,time just flew.,

Probably the royal guard didn't let him in,probably he doesn't want to come,her hopes grew dim.

Her reflexes sharpened when she heard his stallion gallop,

With the brightest smile on her face,she ran to the garden..

There he was,her prince charming..

The more she looked at him,the more she fell in love with the best of all men,

The world stood still,the night was perfect,

They sat under the blue draped sky.

The romance,the love---a magical connect.

He planted a kiss on her forehead,swollen with all the love,a tear trickled down her eye.

A wave of uncertainty blew,

he drew her hand..and mumbled.."this doesn't seem right enough".

Too dumbfounded,what was going on was getting hard to construe.

With a strong stride he left,she was hoping that everything that happened was just a bluff.

The most painful of it all,

...he didn't even shed a tear.

Bittersweet

All of us have experienced bittersweet moments,moments you want to smile, but unfortunately accompanied with a tear in your eye.

This week saw the VTU sports meet.We took part in the cross-country run(6kms-girls,12kms-boys) at shravanabelagola.With a week's of reasonable amount of practice,we were all set to RUN!!.The route was excellent,I personally loved it,\perfect combination of ups and Downs,tar roads ,mud roads,all included to avoid any monotony.

It was finally race day.4:30 am, amidst the fog:):)..perfect start to a long,happy run:).I was pleased with my performance..74 girls,I came in at 14th place,finished the 6kms in 28:03 minutes :).AS a team, we secured really good places.

14th-Myself.

15th-Namitha.

16th-Shilpa.

18th-Rekha.

Congrats girls!!!..We did it:)

WINNERS-"Cross-country race"-2009-2010---BMSCE girls :)

The guys team did excellent.4th position overall:)..with wonderful timings,all nine of them finished 12kms in less than 60 minutes!!! :) congrats guys!!

Not everyone shared this happiness.The person i expected the most happiness from didn't show it.

Happiness is not an individual feeling.A child will always run home to show his parents his first 100.I would always want to share my happiness with my loved ones.It's not called happiness,until it's mutual.It's not called happiness,if it's not shared.Bringing a smile on someone Else's face..that's happiness....

So at the end of all this,I wasn't even happy.My happiness wasn't shared with the person i wanted to share it with the most,in fact,the only person i wanted to share it with.

It was bittersweet,sweet:WE WON!!!..bitter:I wasn't happy at the end of it.

I console myself by assuming that not everyone has the same definition of happiness as I.....

Are we alright??

Is it wrong or is it right??I think of this question every time I take even the smallest decision.If the decision is taken to please me,it's wrong because I'm being selfish but then i can\t help thinking ,what's wrong in taking a decision that is going to favour me?

   When a poor boy finds a 100 rupee note on the street,What's wrong in pocketing it??Isn't he in more need that the careless person who dropped it?But no,instead he'll get lynched by the public because it's not the "right" thing to do.So what is the right thing to do......hand it over to the police station,for them to pocket it??

   Is being a little selfish,to reward yourself sometimes wrong then?I have personally learnt the more you give,the lesser you'll get back.In this disgusting cut throat world,there is NOBODY who\ll take your side.So go ahead be a little selfish,you deserve it:)!!